You were there :
for the laughter
for my brightest moments
to share secrets
But where were you:
when I cried
in my darkest hours
when I needed support
I am thankful :
that my eyes are open
that I have ears to hear the truth
that I have a sound mind
I am not thankful :
for those who back stabbed me
for those who hurt me
for those who judged me
I am humble to have my dearest and closest near to my heart... I am grateful for every breath that I can still take.
Saturday 5 September 2009
Friday 4 September 2009
After thought
Lots of things has been going on through my mind lately. Maybe it is due to Ramadhan , who knows. It does give me time to reflect more . What is more important yesterday seems to be insignificant today. What I thought I wanted to achieve yesterday seems a total waste of time for me now.
With what is going now with our plan, it is all in pipeline. Nothing seems definite. Sometimes I just don't want to dwell in the matter anymore.
I can't remember the last time that I wasn't worried about the future. When I was a student, the only thing that was required of me was to pass my exams. I didn't even think about going any further. When the time came, it was only then I though I wanted to go further. While I was in college, I didn't even think about what will happen if I don't get through with my Scottish Higher.All I could think was, the next exam or the next club night (hehe).
Then as faith unfolds, I landed at Uni.. as like my college years all I had to worry about is about were exams. Everything else was an adventure, every laughter, tear, heartbreak, breakfast, lunch , dinner, part time jobs, summer jobs etc.
I had a plan in mind when I jumped into the rat race. How I survive this long , I wonder. Years ago, I told one of my best friend that, money to me is never important. I have seen what it has done to people, how it changes a person. I am content to just having enough. Then I wonder , how did I end up being one of those people who keeps on trying to earn more money yet feel so trapped. Such conflicted aim and action.
When I was single, my plan might have still been on course. NO I am not blaming marriage, but perhaps marriage has changed my perspective. It is a fine line and hardly visible at times = to loose oneself. I always try not to loose my independence, I believe that no matter who we are with, one must never loose sight of their own identity.
It is really hard to make plans when I don't even know what will happen tomorrow. Sure live life one day at a time. But how do I know that this is the best option? Guess I will never know until tomorrow comes.
I have lost few friends and gained new ones. Due to their actions, words and opinions. Maybe I am hard headed, but I have learned the hard way, not to prolong communication with people who put me down and think that I am not living my life the right way.It is too much head ache to deal with. Sometimes it is the best way, a gap. This is what you get as you grow older, you will soon realise who are really your true friends. Something that I never believe when my sisters told me.
Such is life, always learning something new about it. Wouldn't be exciting if it was mundane and worry free eh
With what is going now with our plan, it is all in pipeline. Nothing seems definite. Sometimes I just don't want to dwell in the matter anymore.
I can't remember the last time that I wasn't worried about the future. When I was a student, the only thing that was required of me was to pass my exams. I didn't even think about going any further. When the time came, it was only then I though I wanted to go further. While I was in college, I didn't even think about what will happen if I don't get through with my Scottish Higher.All I could think was, the next exam or the next club night (hehe).
Then as faith unfolds, I landed at Uni.. as like my college years all I had to worry about is about were exams. Everything else was an adventure, every laughter, tear, heartbreak, breakfast, lunch , dinner, part time jobs, summer jobs etc.
I had a plan in mind when I jumped into the rat race. How I survive this long , I wonder. Years ago, I told one of my best friend that, money to me is never important. I have seen what it has done to people, how it changes a person. I am content to just having enough. Then I wonder , how did I end up being one of those people who keeps on trying to earn more money yet feel so trapped. Such conflicted aim and action.
When I was single, my plan might have still been on course. NO I am not blaming marriage, but perhaps marriage has changed my perspective. It is a fine line and hardly visible at times = to loose oneself. I always try not to loose my independence, I believe that no matter who we are with, one must never loose sight of their own identity.
It is really hard to make plans when I don't even know what will happen tomorrow. Sure live life one day at a time. But how do I know that this is the best option? Guess I will never know until tomorrow comes.
I have lost few friends and gained new ones. Due to their actions, words and opinions. Maybe I am hard headed, but I have learned the hard way, not to prolong communication with people who put me down and think that I am not living my life the right way.It is too much head ache to deal with. Sometimes it is the best way, a gap. This is what you get as you grow older, you will soon realise who are really your true friends. Something that I never believe when my sisters told me.
Such is life, always learning something new about it. Wouldn't be exciting if it was mundane and worry free eh
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